Krista Phillips is executive vice president, head of consumer credit cards and consumer finance marketing at Wells Fargo.
We’ve all heard the term “girl talk”, right? It came to refer to women talking about stereotypical “girly” topics. But what do most women leave out of their conversations? Money.
Of course, money can be difficult to talk about. We’ve been told our whole lives that it’s impolite to discuss it, and now, even later in life, we’re stuck with this stigma and shame surrounding our finances.
Let’s not forget that just a few generations ago, women were unable to maintain independent finances. Just 50 years ago, women in the United States had no control over their banking decisions. We didn’t have economic rights or our own ability to earn money until 1974, when the Equal Credit Opportunity Act was passed, which made it illegal to deny credit to people based on gender, race, religion or national origin. And we still have a long way to go towards financial equality.
More recently, major cultural events such as the Barbie movie, Beyoncé’s Renaissance tour, and Taylor Swift’s Eras tour have highlighted the significant economic power that women have. So why are we still uncomfortable discussing financial topics?
Focus on Confidence
Our team at Wells Fargo teamed up with The Female Quotient to explore how women and men approach financial topics and see what insights we can uncover to help level the playing field.
In a study called Our Secret Numbers: Women, Men, and the Taboo Nature of Financial HealthPeople were asked about their “taboo” numbers – age, salary, weight, credit score, financial savings, debt, romantic partners, prescription drugs and expenses.
Looking specifically at men and women, the data showed similarities in conversations about age and romantic partners, but showed disappointing (and unfortunately not shocking) differences when it comes to finances. This gap has very real and long-term consequences for the mental health and financial potential of both genders.
The data showed that men and women have different levels of comfort talking about money and finances throughout their careers. In fact, men working in entry-level jobs are more comfortable talking about their financial health (66%), even compared to women working in senior positions (57%).
Men at every level reported being more comfortable discussing their financial health (66% entry-level, 67% mid-level, and 70% senior-level) than women (54% entry-level, 55% mid-level, and 57% senior level). When discussing debt.
The study also found that men are overwhelmingly happier and more confident about their finances, despite financial health being equally important to both genders. Nearly half of all women say they don’t feel confident managing their finances (49%), while only 35% of men agree. And while 58% of women are unhappy with their financial situation, only 42% of men are unhappy with theirs.
Moreover, the attitude towards money as a taboo topic is cyclical. You feel awkward mentioning your salary or debt, so you don’t talk about it. This means you don’t hear what other people are saying or recommending, which leads to missed opportunities that could have made you more money and boosted your confidence. So while other people are growing their money, paying off debt, or talking to financial advisors and planners, they are also likely increasing their financial confidence. And because men are statistically more comfortable talking about money, this cycle disproportionately impacts women, limiting their financial growth, investment opportunities, and earning potential.
A likely reason why women feel this way more often can be found in our childhood. From an early age, both boys and girls are very susceptible to social conditions. Our society tells women and girls to be careful with their money and men and boys to be smart, which inherently creates very different ideas about finances and our respective roles in managing them.
Our research also found that in married or partnered households, men are more likely to take responsibility for financial decisions, while women are more likely to say they share responsibility with their partners.
We need to change the conversation about finances. We can start by talking openly and positively with our children about finances, keeping in mind how we talk to little girls. If we don’t, this conditioning can seriously impact how girls grow up and feel about money, so we all need to watch our words carefully and make sure we’re not empowering boys or scaring girls.
We also need to remember that if you never raise your hand, your questions will never be answered. Women are conditioned to believe that talking about money is impolite. But the best way to learn about something is to talk about it, and we don’t talk about money enough.
Let’s take back the power and make sure future generations know that “girl talk” is defined by the things that matter most to us, such as in our daily lives: feelings, careers, hopes, dreams…And money.
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